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LoneStarChiken
03-16-2005, 11:42 PM
Robber jailed after using banana as weapon

LONDON - Robert Downey had the mask and the attitude to be a successful robber. But he ruined the effect when he tried to stage a hold-up at his local bookmaker's shop - using a banana.

Noting the suspicious bend in the so-called "weapon," the clerk calmly called the police and on Wednesday, Downey was jailed for nearly seven years for attempted robbery.

Prosecutors at the trial at Southwark Crown Court in London said Downey, a drug addict, hatched his scheme to buy more crack.

Donning a mask, he headed for the bookmaker's shop, pausing only to get a banana from the greengrocer on the way.

In the bookmaker's, he pointed the fruit wrapped in a plastic bag, screaming, "I want the money or I will (expletive) shoot you."

This did not produce the desired effect: assistant Peter Humphrey calmly turned to a colleague and said: "He said he has a gun, but it might be a banana."

Downey then produced a pair of scissors, "but seeing no money was going to be handed over he ran out of the shop," said prosecutor Patrick Cahill.

When police arrived they found the 24-year-old nearby trying to pull off his over-tight balaclava. A police dog found the badly bruised banana still in its bag nearby.

Downey, of Chatham, south of London, pleaded guilty to one count of attempted robbery at William Claridges Ltd. in Tower Hamlets, east London, in November. He also admitted possessing an imitation firearm.

"You did say, although it may seem comic now but not quite so comic at the time, that in the bag was a firearm," Justice Paul Dodgson told Downey.

"As it's been pointed out by your counsel that was an attempt that met with no success. Indeed, your victims having guessed what it was, it was never going to succeed."

Downey's lawyer, Rajiv Menon, called the robbery attempt "farcical and incompetent."

"We have to face facts. It was a banana, not even a plastic gun, or something that even looked like a gun. Not only that, but neither of the bookies was scared."

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Man found napping in car with holdup note

QUINCY, Mass. - It's never good to fall asleep on the job, but when you're a robber the consequences can be severe. Police arrived at a CVS pharmacy early Tuesday morning to find Steven Jakaitis, 42, sleeping in his idling car with a nylon stocking over his head and a cap pistol in his pocket.

By his side was a note that read: "I have a Gun DO NOT Press any Alarms or let Custermors (sic) know Empty the All the register."

A customer called police after seeing Jakaitis, who was also wearing a black wig and a scarf. On the back seat of his car, officers found a plastic bag containing 36 unused hypodermic needles. He spoke incoherently after the officers woke him, Capt. Anthony DiBona said.

He never actually went into the store, police said.

At his arraignment Tuesday, Jakaitis pleaded innocent to attempted armed robbery, possession of a hypodermic syringe and receiving a stolen car. He was ordered held on $1,000 bail and ordered to appear for a pretrial conference on April 12.

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Man with 'TIPSY' plate faces DUI charges

MOORHEAD, Minn. - Having a vanity plate that reads "TIPSY" may not be such a great idea after all. Josiah Johnson, 23, said his license plate might have tipped off the Clay County sheriff's deputy who pulled him over Friday after he left Coach's Sports Pub in Moorhead.

Now he faces third-degree drunken driving charges after his blood-alcohol level allegedly registered twice the legal limit.

Johnson said he bought the personalized license plate for his Jeep to describe the way it rode - then kept it as a joke when he got a Chevy Silverado because he likes to party.

"It doesn't mean I drink and drive," he said. "It just means I have a good time."

Johnson, who was slated to appear in court March 22, said he'll never drink and drive again.

"I feel really stupid," he said.

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Cat shoots owner

BATES TOWNSHIP, Mich. - A man cooking in his kitchen was shot after one of his cats knocked his 9mm handgun onto the floor, discharging the weapon, Michigan State Police said.

Joseph Stanton, 29, of Bates Township in Iron County, was shot in his lower torso around 6 p.m. Tuesday, the state police post in Iron River reported. He was transported to Iron County Community Hospital.

Michelle Sand, a spokeswoman at the Iron River hospital, said Stanton was treated there before being transferred to Marquette General Hospital for further treatment. But Marcie Miller, a representative of the Marquette facility, said there was no record of the hospital receiving a patient by that name.

A telephone message seeking comment was left Wednesday at Stanton's home.

State police said he was cooking at his stove when the cat knocked the loaded gun off the kitchen counter behind him.

SPRINGCHIKEN
03-17-2005, 07:17 AM
LMAO

ChunkyChiken
03-18-2005, 07:42 AM
Lonestar....you really have to much time on your hands man LOL

FowlPlayChiken
03-22-2005, 01:44 PM
lmfao! thats all i have to say to that!

LoneStarChiken
03-24-2005, 07:07 PM
Officials: Diner finds finger in chili


SAN FRANCISCO, California (Reuters) -- A diner at a Wendy's fast food restaurant in San Jose, California, found a human finger in a bowl of chili prepared by the chain, local officials said Wednesday.

"This individual apparently did take a spoonful, did have a finger in their mouth and then, you know, spit it out and recognized it," said Ben Gale, director of the department of environmental health for Santa Clara County. "Then they had some kind of emotional reaction and vomited."

Local officials launched an investigation after the incident Tuesday night and the medical examiner determined Wednesday that the object was a human finger.

Officials are trying to determine whether the finger came in the raw materials Wendy's used to prepare the chili, Gale said.

Wendy's International Inc. corporate office did not immediately return a call for comment. Wendy's is the third-largest hamburger chain.