Snake-Chiken
08-27-2004, 02:40 PM
Dear Network Operations Center:
We are writing this letter on behalf of Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.
("Warner Bros.").
As you may know, Warner Bros. is the holder of rights under copyright,
including exclusive distribution rights, in and to the motion picture(s)
listed above.
No one is authorized to perform, exhibit, reproduce, transmit, or otherwise
distribute the above-mentioned work(s) without the express written
permission of Warner Bros., which permission Warner Bros. has not granted to
We have received information that an individual has utilized the
above-referenced IP address at the noted date and time to offer downloads of
the above-mentioned work through a "peer-to-peer" service.
The attached documentation specifies the location on your network where the
infringement occurred, the number of repeat violations recorded at this
specific location, as well as any available identifying information.
The distribution of unauthorized copies of copyrighted motion pictures
constitutes copyright infringement under the Copyright Act, Title 17 United
States Code Section 106(3). This conduct may also violate the laws of other
countries, international law, and/or treaty obligations.
Since you own this IP address, we request that you immediately do the
following:
1) Disable access to the individual who has engaged in the conduct described
above; and
2) Terminate any and all accounts that this individual has through you.
On behalf of Warner Bros., owner of the exclusive rights to the copyrighted
material at issue in this notice, we hereby state, pursuant to the Digital
Millennium Copyright Act, Title 17 United States Code Section 512, that we
have a good faith belief that use of the material in the manner complained
of is not authorized by Warner Bros., its respective agents, or the law.
Also pursuant to the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, we hereby state that
we believe the information in this notification is accurate, and, under
penalty of perjury, that MediaSentry is authorized to act on behalf of the
owner of the exclusive rights being infringed as set forth in this
notification.
Please contact us at the above listed address or by replying to this email
should you have any questions.
We appreciate your assistance and thank you for your cooperation in this
matter. In your future correspondence with us, please refer to Case ID
2555193.
Your prompt response is requested.
Respectfully,
Mark Weaver,
Director of Enforcement
MediaSentry, Inc.
(212) 925-9997
to which the replay was
Greetings, my name is ***************, the official legal representative for the website ************* (hereby referred to as "defendant's website") and ************(hereby referred to as "defendant"). I was recently forwarded your email expressing your deep distress, grief, emotional damage, and flaccidicular vermissitude in respond to the defendant's website (hereby referred to as "prime liability"). It is my job to look into these matters sent to me by the defendant (hereby referred to as "owner of prime liability") and make sure all parties interested are satisfied to a degree that they could potentially walk up to a person on the street and say, "you know that lawsuit I was in? Well I'm satisfied to a degree about that whole thing!" I have been doing this for over 28 years now, even longer if you count in dog years.
The prime liability (hereby referred to as "tantamount alliteration")expressed no prior notice towards your electronic rights (stated in amendments 582a through, well, something. I seem to have misplaced my Jumbo Legal Advice Book somewhere under the 500 empty cans of Yoo Hoo in my office which some members of the community may call "the bed of a pickup truck" but I respectfully disagree. For example, there is usually hay and dirt and pigs in the back of a pickup truck and if you'll ever visit my office you'll notice there is absolutely no hay anywhere). The tantamount alliteration (hereby referred to as "climatorious post facto") and myself have been in a variety of court capers such as the one you are threatening us with. These past cases include the famous " State of Sudan vs. Richard Kyanka," "Richard Kyanka vs. The Island of Sudan," and "Captain Lou Albano vs. The Haunted Castle." I claimed victory in all of these cases, often performing a colorful "fatality" move on both the opposing lawyer and judge. One time I was in a spacecraft and saw my house!
As I originally stated, your emotional stress concerns me deeply, as I am a practicing hobbyist physician and it pains me to see a fellow human be in such dire straits. Your "emotional blowback" levels seem to be dangerously high, which can result in unnecessary stress, brain tumors, or chest beetles. Do you exercise regularly? If so, you should probably stop. Do you drive a truck? If so, you should purchase one of those bead things that you put on the seat behind you. In addition, increase the amount of chalk and vitamin M in your diet. This will not only decrease your emotional blowback level, but it will also grow hair in the back of your throat and allow you to pass through solid objects after drinking heavily.
Once you have taken my prescribed advice, I would be more than happy to conference with your lawyer regarding your impending lawsuit against the climatorious post facto (hereby referred to as "anabolic parable"). Who, may I ask, is representing you? How tall is he? What's his name? Does he think I'm cute? None of these questions matter much, as all lawyers look the same once I've run them through my 4-Ton Legal Lawyerin' Machine, which I recently upgraded with a level 18c plutonium rod core. Although the Washington State Judge enacted a restraining order explicitly forbidding me from coming within a 500-yard radius of another living entity, I would be more than happy to visit your lawyer in the middle of the night when he falsely believes himself to be safe and secure in his own home. For an
additional fee, I will also check his dog for parasites and paint his deck.
Please respond to myself and anabolic parable (hereby referred to as "Marquee Mark") at your earliest convenience, or even faster if possible.
Thank you very much,
Funny stuff.. Looks like there site will go down with that
We are writing this letter on behalf of Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.
("Warner Bros.").
As you may know, Warner Bros. is the holder of rights under copyright,
including exclusive distribution rights, in and to the motion picture(s)
listed above.
No one is authorized to perform, exhibit, reproduce, transmit, or otherwise
distribute the above-mentioned work(s) without the express written
permission of Warner Bros., which permission Warner Bros. has not granted to
We have received information that an individual has utilized the
above-referenced IP address at the noted date and time to offer downloads of
the above-mentioned work through a "peer-to-peer" service.
The attached documentation specifies the location on your network where the
infringement occurred, the number of repeat violations recorded at this
specific location, as well as any available identifying information.
The distribution of unauthorized copies of copyrighted motion pictures
constitutes copyright infringement under the Copyright Act, Title 17 United
States Code Section 106(3). This conduct may also violate the laws of other
countries, international law, and/or treaty obligations.
Since you own this IP address, we request that you immediately do the
following:
1) Disable access to the individual who has engaged in the conduct described
above; and
2) Terminate any and all accounts that this individual has through you.
On behalf of Warner Bros., owner of the exclusive rights to the copyrighted
material at issue in this notice, we hereby state, pursuant to the Digital
Millennium Copyright Act, Title 17 United States Code Section 512, that we
have a good faith belief that use of the material in the manner complained
of is not authorized by Warner Bros., its respective agents, or the law.
Also pursuant to the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, we hereby state that
we believe the information in this notification is accurate, and, under
penalty of perjury, that MediaSentry is authorized to act on behalf of the
owner of the exclusive rights being infringed as set forth in this
notification.
Please contact us at the above listed address or by replying to this email
should you have any questions.
We appreciate your assistance and thank you for your cooperation in this
matter. In your future correspondence with us, please refer to Case ID
2555193.
Your prompt response is requested.
Respectfully,
Mark Weaver,
Director of Enforcement
MediaSentry, Inc.
(212) 925-9997
to which the replay was
Greetings, my name is ***************, the official legal representative for the website ************* (hereby referred to as "defendant's website") and ************(hereby referred to as "defendant"). I was recently forwarded your email expressing your deep distress, grief, emotional damage, and flaccidicular vermissitude in respond to the defendant's website (hereby referred to as "prime liability"). It is my job to look into these matters sent to me by the defendant (hereby referred to as "owner of prime liability") and make sure all parties interested are satisfied to a degree that they could potentially walk up to a person on the street and say, "you know that lawsuit I was in? Well I'm satisfied to a degree about that whole thing!" I have been doing this for over 28 years now, even longer if you count in dog years.
The prime liability (hereby referred to as "tantamount alliteration")expressed no prior notice towards your electronic rights (stated in amendments 582a through, well, something. I seem to have misplaced my Jumbo Legal Advice Book somewhere under the 500 empty cans of Yoo Hoo in my office which some members of the community may call "the bed of a pickup truck" but I respectfully disagree. For example, there is usually hay and dirt and pigs in the back of a pickup truck and if you'll ever visit my office you'll notice there is absolutely no hay anywhere). The tantamount alliteration (hereby referred to as "climatorious post facto") and myself have been in a variety of court capers such as the one you are threatening us with. These past cases include the famous " State of Sudan vs. Richard Kyanka," "Richard Kyanka vs. The Island of Sudan," and "Captain Lou Albano vs. The Haunted Castle." I claimed victory in all of these cases, often performing a colorful "fatality" move on both the opposing lawyer and judge. One time I was in a spacecraft and saw my house!
As I originally stated, your emotional stress concerns me deeply, as I am a practicing hobbyist physician and it pains me to see a fellow human be in such dire straits. Your "emotional blowback" levels seem to be dangerously high, which can result in unnecessary stress, brain tumors, or chest beetles. Do you exercise regularly? If so, you should probably stop. Do you drive a truck? If so, you should purchase one of those bead things that you put on the seat behind you. In addition, increase the amount of chalk and vitamin M in your diet. This will not only decrease your emotional blowback level, but it will also grow hair in the back of your throat and allow you to pass through solid objects after drinking heavily.
Once you have taken my prescribed advice, I would be more than happy to conference with your lawyer regarding your impending lawsuit against the climatorious post facto (hereby referred to as "anabolic parable"). Who, may I ask, is representing you? How tall is he? What's his name? Does he think I'm cute? None of these questions matter much, as all lawyers look the same once I've run them through my 4-Ton Legal Lawyerin' Machine, which I recently upgraded with a level 18c plutonium rod core. Although the Washington State Judge enacted a restraining order explicitly forbidding me from coming within a 500-yard radius of another living entity, I would be more than happy to visit your lawyer in the middle of the night when he falsely believes himself to be safe and secure in his own home. For an
additional fee, I will also check his dog for parasites and paint his deck.
Please respond to myself and anabolic parable (hereby referred to as "Marquee Mark") at your earliest convenience, or even faster if possible.
Thank you very much,
Funny stuff.. Looks like there site will go down with that