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View Full Version : Blond jokes (old but classics)


Z-Chiken
03-21-2004, 11:40 PM
A man was in line to donate to the sperm bank. In front of him was the usual assortment of masturbation addicted lonely men that are too cheap to actually buy porn and too stupid to be on the internet. He looked behind and there was this blond girl behind him. Trying to be polite and discrete he looked back and whispered:

"Sorry miss, but you must be mystakem, this is the line to donate for the sperm bank..."

To which she replied, lips firmly shut:

mmmmes, mmmmmy knnnnnowww....

*****

Why do blonds prefer convertibles? More legroom.

*****

Why couldn't the blond take a driving license? Because she would allways climb into the back seat.

*****

Why do blonds have legs? So as to not leave a trail like a snail.

*****

Why was the blond's coffin triangular? Because she would open her legs automatically when in the horizontal position.

*****

A famous neurocirgeon was operating this blond girl because she had a suspicious black spot on the X-ray covering her whole brain. Once he popped her head open he looked inside to start working, but was amazed to find the head completly empty, despite the fact that this blond was alive and well and had a highly intelectual job at the local brothel. Upon closer inspection he found this very fin wire which crossed her cranial cavity. Curious as to what it was he cut it....






The blonds ears fell off.

*****

A blond was crying desperatly at the maternity ward. Her mother asked why. She answered:

"Mamma, I have twins, waaaaaaa!"

And her mother replied:

"Why could that be so bad dear, its not like you cant afford to raise them..."

The answer:

"Yeah mom, but you tell me how the hell Im gonna explain to my husband who the father of the second one is! waaaaa!"

*****

How many blonds does it take to milk a cow? One for each teet....

*****

How do you get a blond dizzy? You put her in a barrel and tell her to piss in the corner!


Ok, tortures over. My apologies to any blond chikens out there. BAWK!

OmegaChiken
03-22-2004, 03:22 AM
how do you sink a submarine full of blondes? : knock on the hatch

NemesisChiken
03-22-2004, 04:13 AM
Q: How do you know if a blonde has been using your word processor?
A: By all the white-out on the monitor

Anonymous
03-22-2004, 05:00 AM
LOL Good one Nem :D

how do you sink a submarine full of blondes? : knock on the hatch

I dont get it... :clubbed:

But then again there are alot of things I dont get, like German porn.

OmegaChiken
03-22-2004, 05:02 AM
why did the blonde get fired from her job at the m&m factory? :she kept throwing away all the w's

Anonymous
03-22-2004, 05:31 AM
I'll be sure to point GracefulChiken this way. She's a blondie. :)

OmegaChiken
03-22-2004, 06:20 AM
meep........

Anonymous
03-23-2004, 12:03 AM
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

OmegaChiken
03-23-2004, 12:21 AM
*takes cover*

Z-Chiken
03-23-2004, 11:33 AM
uh oh... *hides in cloud9*

OmegaChiken
03-23-2004, 08:58 PM
run z run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

peekaboochiken
03-31-2004, 04:05 PM
In front of him was the usual assortment of masturbation addicted lonely men that are too cheap to actually buy porn and too stupid to be on the internet

Z - are you aware that the british medical establishment willpay 12 pounds sterling twice a week for six months for donations.

nearly 600 quid for pulling your pud, not a bad job for a couple ofminutes work twice a week

Z-Chiken
03-31-2004, 05:47 PM
And if they paid by the litre I would make even more money... :D

Taxciter
04-02-2004, 02:45 PM
Blonde coed to physics professor:
OK, so what's the speed of dark?

peekaboochiken
04-02-2004, 05:20 PM
i know the answer :)

PherdnutChiken
04-02-2004, 09:50 PM
What do you get when a blonde stands on her head?




A brunette with bad breath.

Z-Chiken
04-02-2004, 10:27 PM
ouch.

OmegaChiken
04-03-2004, 12:18 AM
hehe i got some more but i fear graceful's wrath :)

Snake-Chiken
04-03-2004, 03:25 AM
how does a blond count to ten?



















they cant

Baglunch-Chiken
04-03-2004, 06:55 AM
LOL Good one Nem :D

how do you sink a submarine full of blondes? : knock on the hatch

I dont get it... :clubbed:

But then again there are alot of things I dont get, like German porn.

Explanation: The blondes are stupid enough to open the hatch when they hear the knocking, forgetting that they are underwater and will drown if they do. Thus, teh sub is teh sunk.

Explanation: German porn is teh shit. That's the only 'getting' it you need for that one, unless you enjoy manly girls.

OmegaChiken
04-03-2004, 12:32 PM
ok i got one more i'll do. why did the first blonde keep running outside to check the mail? the comp said"u got mail" whydid the second blonde use white out on the comps monitor? to correct her mistakes what did the third blonde leave by the mouse? a peace of cheese. rofl hehe*hides from graceful*

Taxciter
04-03-2004, 01:27 PM
definition of AI: When a blonde dyes her hair brown.

origin of term MMORPG: from the sound a blonde's tummy once made - after "a night at the opera"

when catholic girls pinch a loaf why do they flush three times?
respect for the dead

I was thinkin about the speed of dark all day yesterday, peekaboo. What are your thoughts and feelings?

Anonymous
04-03-2004, 07:02 PM
Uh oh, I don't think she's read this in a while. Time for me to go and tell her about it. :D

OmegaChiken
04-03-2004, 11:03 PM
tatle tell! lol