What not to do when pullled over by the cops!

[Dragonic_Chiken]

What not to say when you get pulled up by a coppa...

I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

Aren't you the guy from the Village People?

Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!

Excuse me. Is "stick up" hyphenated?

I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
Bad cop! No donut!

You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.

Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops ?

Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand.

Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?

I pay your salary!

So, uh, you on the take, or what?

Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around--that's how far ahead of me they are.

What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

:) lol love it you guys might have heard these before but if not enjoy

[ViperChiken]

lol good one dragonic

[Baglunch-Chiken]

lol awesome. BAWK!

[AddictChiken]

So.. this guy gets pulled over for doing 40 in a 25. When the officer asks him for his license he says;

"Hmmm.... I usualy keep that in the glove compartment, but there wasn't any room in there after I stashed the weed ... I think it's in my gym bag with my gun."

The officer looks real concerned and asks, "Where is your gym bag?"

"Oh," the man answers, "It's in the trunk next to the old lady's body."

The officer tells the man to sit very still with his hands clearly visible and he imediatly calls his chief.

When the chief gets there the officer relates the whole story to him.

Speaking to the driver the chief says, "Now, tell me where your license and registration are?"

The driver says, "Oh, right here sir!" and he opens the otherwise empty glove compartment and pulls them out.

The chief looks a little puzzled and asks to check the trunk. The driver imeadiatly complies, opening the trunk which has very little in it save a spare and a tire iron.

"I was told you had a gun and a body in the car," the chief said.

"Yeah," the driver said, looking anoyed, "I bet he said I was speeding too, huh?"